root@ashburn:~$ cat /etc/motd

us-east-1

Half the internet is one region in Virginia. One RPC, one point of failure, zero redundancy. Every time Ashburn sneezes your wallet stops syncing, your "decentralized" dApp 404s, and the timeline finds out who was really running on a single EC2 instance. $USEAST1 is priced in tokenized AMZN and pays holders in Amazon stock — you were always long us-east-1, now you get the dividend.

▶ BUY ON STONKS EXCHANGE CHART

CA pending deployment…

LIVE METRICS

source: dexscreener · base

never

MARKET CAP

—

waiting for CA

PRICE

—

USD

LIQUIDITY

—

locked forever · uniswap v3

24H VOLUME

—

buys — · sells —

HOLDERS

—

on-chain · excl. pool

AMZN (QUOTE)

—

implied from pool · AMZNc

PRICE IN AMZN SHARES

—

1 USEAST1 = — AMZNc · 1h — · 6h — · 24h —

pair —dex —refresh every 30sstonks board thestonks.exchange

REWARD PIPELINE

TRADESevery buy & sell on USEAST1/AMZNc pays a 1% fee

→

0.7% → AMZNthe creator share buys AMZNc (0.3% goes to the platform)

→

AMZN → YOUpushed to holders pro-rata on what they hold

INCIDENT REPORT

severity: existential

# /var/log/useast1/postmortem.txt SUMMARY In 2006 Amazon put a few servers in a field in Northern Virginia and called it us-east-1. Today roughly a third of the cloud runs through it. Banks. Exchanges. Streaming. Your wallet's RPC. That airline you're flying next week. Everyone was told to deploy to multiple regions. Nobody did. It was cheaper here, and the latency was nice. ROOT CAUSE Humanity built the entire internet on a single availability zone and then acted surprised every time it rained in Ashburn. IMPACT Every few months, us-east-1 hiccups and the world discovers which "decentralized" apps were actually one EC2 instance in a trench coat. Timelines go quiet. Status pages turn yellow. Someone at a crypto exchange tweets "we are aware of an issue". REMEDIATION None. We are not fixing it. We are buying it. $USEAST1 is a coin priced in tokenized Amazon stock on Base. Fees from trading are paid back to holders in AMZN. You cannot escape the region — so you might as well own a piece of it. STATUS DEGRADED (normal operating condition) root@ashburn:~$

DATE	INCIDENT	STATUS
2017-02	An engineer mistypes one command. S3 goes down. Half the web's images vanish. The AWS status page can't show red because its icon was hosted on S3.	LEGENDARY
2020-11	Kinesis falls over. Roombas stop cleaning. Doorbells stop ringing. The IoT apocalypse, briefly.	RESOLVED-ISH
2021-12	The big one. Netflix, Disney+, Coinbase, Venmo, delivery drivers stranded because the routing app died. A single region unplugs Christmas.	ICONIC
2023-06	Lambda hiccup. Everything with a "serverless" badge discovers it had a server after all.	SHRUG
2025-10	DNS issue in us-east-1 takes down games, banks, and a few crypto front-ends for most of a day. Twitter jokes "check if it's us-east-1" before checking anything else.	CLASSIC
SOON	$USEAST1 deploys. The region goes down again eventually; holders get paid in AMZN either way.	LIVE

Incident history from memory and public postmortems. Dates approximate, emotional damage exact.

HOW IT WORKS

read the docs, unlike everyone deploying to one region

01 · PRICED IN AMZN

USEAST1 is launched on Stonks Exchange against AMZNc, Base's tokenized Amazon stock. The chart moves in shares of Amazon, not ETH.

02 · FEES BECOME DIVIDENDS

Every trade pays 1%. 0.7% buys AMZNc and is pushed to holders pro-rata; 0.3% keeps the lights on at the platform. Hold the coin, accumulate the stock.

03 · LIQUIDITY LOCKED FOREVER

Single-sided Uniswap V3 position, locked at launch. Nobody can pull it — not the deployer, not a mistyped command in Ashburn.

04 · FIXED SUPPLY

1,000,000,000 USEAST1. No mint function, no multi-region failover. One chain, one pair, one region — we learned nothing and we're proud of it.

05 · KOL AIRDROP

Part of supply goes to the loudest accounts on the timeline, the same way every outage goes to the loudest accounts on the timeline.

06 · NOT A SECURITY

An unaudited memecoin on Base. Not a claim on Amazon, AWS, or the field in Virginia. Do not deploy your rent to a single availability zone.

DEPLOY TO REGION

# quickstart $ aws configure --region us-east-1 $ open thestonks.exchange # buy with ETH or AMZNc, 1% fee $ connect wallet --chain base # buy with ETH or AMZNc $ hold # dividends in AMZN accrue to holders $ sleep infinity # do not sell during outages ✔ deployed. region status: degraded. you: paid.